Relationships are hard, both in our personal and professional lives. Invariably, disagreements arise between any two people who spend a lot of time together trying to work toward a common goal, whether raising a family or launching a product.
In your personal life, you may be more comfortable challenging your spouse or sibling on a decision. But at work, disagreeing with someone, especially someone more senior than you, can be difficult. The power dynamics between an employee and boss can make it hard to speak up. How do you do it?
First, an Assumption
Before answering that question, let’s first assume you work in a place where your opinion is valued. This is an organization where something called “team psychological safety”—a term coined by Harvard Business School Professor Amy Edmonson and faculty chair of HBS Online’s new CLIMB program—is part of the culture. As Edmonson notes, psychological safety exists when people feel “confident that candor and vulnerability are welcome in their workplace.”
One trait of organizations with psychological safety is that people aren’t afraid to speak “truth to power.” This is important for any healthy organization and a necessary pre-condition to allow you to productively disagree with your boss. If your organization lacks this trait, then the following advice may not work. If that’s the case, you may want to consider looking for a new workplace.
But if you’re at a company with elements of team psychological safety, here’s how to disagree with your boss in a productive way.
Lean on Data
Don’t just make a pitch for a different path from the one your boss is considering or has already embarked upon because your position on an issue “feels” right. While intuition is real, research shows it’s informed by experience. The more junior you are, the less likely your “gut” will lead you in the right direction. Those who have been in business longer may know this.
Therefore, find all the data you can to support your position. But don’t just find it. Make it tell a story. Throwing a bunch of numbers at somebody without context and a structured argument is not very effective. Think in terms of “if-then-else”: If the data shows X is true, then Y must be our course of action, or else Z must be true, and another course makes sense.
Be Respectful
Just because you may be right doesn’t mean you should go out of your way to show your boss they’re wrong. This is especially critical since you’ll likely continue to work with that person once the issue is resolved.
I recently came across a wonderful article by Phillippe Duhamel titled “7 Tips for Respectful Persuasion.” I list them below with my own take on what they mean when disagreeing with your boss:
1. Tune in and connect: Connect on a level and/or topic unrelated to the issue you’re dealing with. Since you probably already know your boss, this sense of personal connection is hopefully in place.
2. Pace the energy: Don’t be overbearing; mirror the energy of the person you’re trying to convince of your point of view.
3. Pay attention to cues: If your boss seems unconvinced, recognize that, and ask questions like, “Does this make sense?”
4. Be transparent: Said another way, be human. You’re not a robot. You were hired because you bring a different perspective and good judgment to the table. Use both.
5. Listen carefully: Your boss has a reason for their position. Hear them out. You won’t convince them of where you stand if you can’t address their own decision-making logic.
6. Stay humble: Even if you’re right, nobody likes a know-it-all.
7. Go, then let go: Make your best case but recognize that, in the end, somebody has to decide. And if that’s not you, live to fight another day.
Pick Your Battles
It’s unlikely your boss is always wrong. If you decide to convince them that there’s a better way, be sure it’s worth your time, the expenditure of your political capital, and could have a material impact on your organization’s performance. Deciding what color balloons to have on either side of the door for a retail location’s grand opening won’t materially impact a company’s prospects. But deciding where to put that retail outlet could.
That doesn’t mean you should, or even can, chime in on an organization’s biggest decisions every time. I once heard somebody say you should pick battles big enough to matter but small enough to win. I think this is good advice for young professionals. I’m not saying you shouldn’t try to have your voice heard no matter the issue. But I am saying that you only have so much time in a day, so use your incredible insight wisely.
Don’t forget something I noted earlier: Even in an age of ChatGPT, human insight and judgment are greatly valued. You have large measures of both. Use them at work. Be strategic but not timid when it comes to showing those more senior than you there might be a better path. Practicing that muscle early and often will set you up for professional success. It might even help in your personal life …
Read the full article here
