Recently, I had double jaw surgery, and am in recovery. I don’t need any major accommodations, but I have an “Ugly Betty” thing going on with braces, elastics, and glasses. Recovery-wise, I am close to graduating from purées to soft food. Even then, I will have to eat with a mirror, while I’m waiting for the nerves in my face to recover from paresthesia. Likely, I will skip the hassle by bringing a smoothie to work sites. How do I message my recovery with clients and prime contractors? My first thought is to be open and transparent. There’s no stigma associated with jaw surgery. My face looks slightly different, but most people won’t notice. At the same time, I don’t want to overshare or burden others with my health issues. – Freelancer
The most important thing is that this reader is in recovery, and their health is improving. A strong career foundation is built on good health. This freelancer also shows a strong relationship focus in considering the potential burden on their clients and colleagues. A compassionate relationship orientation is a career advantage.
1 – Don’t feel obligated to disclose medical information unless you need accommodation
It sounds like this reader is still able to work as before and only their appearance has changed. Since the change seems pronounced (i.e., braces, glasses and other new accessories), work colleagues may ask about it. However, you don’t need to go into any details unless you want to. A simple “I had a medical procedure recently. How are you?” is more than sufficient.
If you need time off for doctor appointments, changes to your workspace or other accommodation to do your work, then talk to the main point of contact for your freelance contract. If you’re a permanent employee, you would talk to your immediate manager and human resources. The people helping to accommodate your workspace for your condition may need more details (e.g., specific limitations, recovery timeline) as this sort of information is needed to help you. No one else is owed an explanation.
2 – There are other ways to nurture meaningful connections than eating together
As a freelancer, strong relationships, not just with one point of contact, but with various people at the same client is beneficial. This way, if your initial point of contact leaves, loses the ability to continue your contract, or your work is losing momentum, you have other potential avenues to pursue. A lot of business networking is conducted over meals, and therefore you might feel obligated to meet over lunch or coffee.
Given that this reader can do smoothies, they could steer any group outings to places that offer smoothies. Or they can simply suggest another meeting format altogether, such as meeting over a walk. If the goal is to maintain the connection, then maintain a steady flow of communication. (You don’t want to be that obvious networker who only reaches out when they need something!) Eating is optional; it’s making the outreach that matters.
3 – The best personal information to share at work is fun and positive
The power of sharing personal and not just professional information is to find additional ways to bound outside of work. You’re not all business – you’re a real person too with a personality and point of view. Disclosing medical information or other serious details about yourself may be uncomfortable for you to share and for colleagues to hear.
If you don’t know your colleagues well, they might be battling issues of their own (lots of workers are struggling with well-being) and not want to be reminded of this at work. They might feel the need to do something, but not know what to do since it’s a serious and unfamiliar situation and become frustrated and evasive. They might take your sharing as an opening to share their situation – which you may or may not want to hear. Instead, keep things fun and positive, unless there’s a specific reason to share more deeply (see point 1).
Strong relationships are a career advantage
This reader is right to want and maintain their connections to colleagues. A varied and supportive professional network means more jobs leads, more insight into market trends, more inspiration and encouragement if you’re laid off or run into some other difficulty. Sharing information about yourself is an important contribution to your network. Reveal your personality, share leads you hear about, contribute insights you come up. These are various ways to nurture your network without having to disclose personal information you don’t want to share.
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