VP of Growth at Normative Meg Pedrick has contributed to this story.
They say the best coaches were not the best players, needing to learn and understand rather than rely on instinct. Well, that’s me with networking. I’m naturally an introvert — I prefer long one on one conversations with people I know and hate group settings, but I’ve made a career out of finding the joy that comes from curiosity and the excitement that comes from meeting new people.
However, it has not been easy. I’ve been sweaty palmed at networking events and conferences many times, wondering why I did this to myself. And yet, at the end of the day, I found the challenge enjoyable. After developing several coping mechanisms, I now look forward to a room full of strangers.
Here are some of the best strategies that I’ve used and taught teams to overcome the discomfort of networking and entice people to engage with you.
1. Be a lone wolf
Let’s just rip the band-aid off. You have to be by yourself. Who is the most intimidating person to introduce yourself to? Someone in a group of people chatting together. Although it may feel comfortable to hang out with familiar faces, you are ensuring no one comes up to you and that you don’t introduce yourself either.
2. Profile who you want to meet and put yourself in their path
You probably know who you want to meet. It might be peers you can learn from, people to hire, subject-matter experts, or sales leads. Put yourself in their shoes.
For me, it’s a tough group — senior executives. Generally, they will be well-dressed and groomed, in their mid-40s to 50s. They are often alone at conferences and keep to themselves during the talks by standing in the hallways or sitting in the back of the room. They usually have meetings they can’t miss and need to step out. They won’t have the luxury of attending everything, unlike their teams.
This means that I also hang out in the halls, stand in the back, and often sit alone. When someone sits next to me, I introduce myself. Among others, I’ve met are the CEO of a global multinational, the SVP of Marketing at a major retailer, and the VP of Tech for a global energy company. All by hanging out in the back of the room.
3. The red suit trick: make them come to you
Standing out is your friend. This was a fun hypothesis I tried at a conference several years ago, and it worked so well that I now do it often. I wore a fire engine red suit! The idea was to be so visually interesting that it gave others an easy way to approach me. I stood out in a sea of grays, blacks, and navies. The many compliments I received made introducing myself a breeze.
Remaining memorable after networking events can be challenging, so being different also helps you be unforgettable. By simply saying, “Remember me? I was in the red suit,” you remind new connections of your conversation and make building early relationships easier. Find your red suit to help others take the initiative and remember you.
4. Prepare to be interesting
Dead air, no good intro, and now you’ve missed your chance. Curiosity is your best friend. I like to have both a prepared set of general questions but also keep a list on my phone of things I learned, or believe are relevant for the person I want to approach. General questions can be great conversation starters, such as “What do you hope to learn from the conference?” or “Did you attend any particularly interesting talks so far?”
Insightful questions take more work. Think critically about your takeaways from the discussions, talks, or conference topics and write them down. If you want to meet one of the speakers, take notes and write down questions during their talk. Sit in the front row and pay close attention to their ideas. If you don’t get to meet them that day, send them a thoughtful note on LinkedIn. Personalized follow-ups have allowed me to establish meaningful connections even after the event.
5. Everyone is naked
Think of it as proverbially naked. Most people attend conferences with the intention to meet new people, but they often feel uneasy when it comes to introducing themselves. Even the most senior executives can be closed-off introverts. Remember that the worst that can happen is someone saying “Great to meet you too,” and turn away. Not so bad.
Fortunately, most people are thrilled when someone else breaks the ice. So, find a seat on your own—rest assured, someone will eventually join you—strike up a conversation about the keynote with someone walking beside you as you leave the room, and compliment the woman in the colorful suit. I bet she would love to meet you too.
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